On blame

I've been interviewing students the past two days, and one of my coworkers sat in to provide feedback. This coworker (M) and I have never really seen eye-to-eye, but I never butted heads with her, either. However, after our third and final interview this morning, she casually mentioned that she has been having problems with one of our current students (A). M explained that another one of our coworkers (Y) has been "talking and talking and talking" with A, keeping A from doing work. She blamed A for being "too sweet" to put her foot down, and she blamed Y for monopolizing A's time with conversation.

Here's the thing: our student assistants assist EVERYONE in both business offices. Not just me, not just M - EVERYONE. And Y will very frequently have a task that requires student assistance, tasks that require explanations and conversations. Here's another thing: not a single soul, aside from M, has ever complained about any of our students. In fact, I get compliments and rave reviews on a regular basis; everyone else who has interacted with our students praise their diligence and hard work. And I've certainly never heard any complaints about our students being "too sweet".

This isn't really a tip or a guide to interacting with other people. It's more of a question, honestly. I personally think M is too heavy-handed when it comes to our student assistants; I think she's taken on a role that her position was never intended to take. And while I cannot commend her enough for wanting to take on added responsibility, I am extremely protective of my students and my coworkers, and I cannot stand undue criticism. So what is the solution? Do I tell M to stuff it? Do I tell Y and A to stop conversing regularly? Do I train our students to put their heads down and work in silence?

My answer to the last question is a resounding "NO", of course. But I don't know how to tell M to lighten up, either. If you, the reader, have any ideas, please share.

Professionalism and emotions

My boss is an incredible person. She is a great supervisor, providing excellent advice and suggestions, and always willing to share her (vast) knowledge and expertise. I have a tremendous amount of respect for her, and I actually like her a lot as well. (You don't always like the people you respect, do you?)

Humans are flawed creatures, however. The Greeks had a word, hamartia, for this idea that all people - heroes and villains alike - have a fatal flaw. I'd consider mine to be pride and sloth, and a number of my family members suffer from rage. These flaws are not, in and of themselves, inherently dangerous, but we must take care to be aware of our flaws and mitigate them as best as possible, or risk living an incomplete life.

My boss' flaw is that she cannot remove her emotions from her actions. She is completely aware of this, and for the most part, it isn't much of an issue. Recently, however, this behavior has manifested in a way I personally do not believe is professional, to point of frustrating several people in the office.

One of my coworkers, who has been with our department for only seven months, is departing for a higher level position with potential for growth. No one is particularly glad to see her go - we all very much enjoy working with her, on a professional and personal level - but most of us are pleased that she has found this opportunity and wish her well. My boss, on the other hand, reacted by not promising her a good reference and essentially saying to her, "I am not happy for you." To someone as young and thin-skinned as my coworker, that was extremely hurtful. And to me, it was also extremely unprofessional.

My boss was aggravated to be losing a valuable employee, and that aggravation was compounded by worry, as we happen to be losing another person at the same exact time. Her worries are completely understandable and rational - we will, very suddenly, be very short-staffed. But I wish she had not let her aggravation and worries influence to such a degree the way she reacted to my coworker's news. I wish she had been able to wish her the best, if she could not wish her well. My coworker's intentions were never to cause harm or grief; she is simply taking the next step to further her professional life, an admirable and natural progression. And it is natural for us to regret that she'll be leaving our department, but I personally am happy and excited on her behalf. She is pursuing new challenges and experiences, and I wish we could all support and encourage her in this endeavor.